What goes around comes around..

it’s pristine white, the snow never looks suaver.The light and feathery flakes swing here and there before falling onto the ground, blanketing the surroundings white. Skies are red and the night’s pitch black, yet the whitish aura ‘illuminated’ by the snow  creates a vibrant contrast, a nature’s picturesque beauty one has yet to discover.

Ppl view the snow from quite different perspectives. Some (not all) ppl adore the snow so much that it makes one jumping out of his bed, running out just to have the feeling of the flakes touching the skin and it isnt wrong at all. Some eagerly change the ym status, some yell here and there, some snow-fight, and yet there are groups of ppl who care not, sitting in their room, feeling cozy.

And i find the snow urm lets say, quite a bless if rounds and classes are canceled tomorrow ^_^. We’ve gotten epilepsy seminar by a doctor who asks by names and i havent prepared at all lol. Other drawbacks include the extremely cold condition and the heater must be 24/7 on apart from the fact that one cannot roam freely outside, or the shirts and khakis will be soaked wet. Im recovering from common cold and am still a bit off color. Hey, it’s like once a year, why do i care?

Yet seeing the snow falling down from the skies opens up a small lonely room in my heart. It’s indeed beautiful yet the cold condition is on the contrary. Ive got this feeling, like months ago that i have to leave jordan, for good, and im still not ready to make nice.

hata,
snowing irbid
jordan

u may feel free when u stand alone. it’s like you’ve got nothing to be taken care of. frens? they are ephemeral, frens come and go, and may i remind u tat it’s the basic principle of life. getting involved in too many circles of ppl isnt bad yet one has to be superb in maintaining the outcome quality. depression, anger and stress may result from failure of anastomoses between the single line in one huge circle.

they say true friend is hard to find yet i do say that it’s harder to avoid getting close with non-true frens. well you can just simply list down the characteristics for each one of the two groups, or just google, as simple as that.

back to the point, im getting used to standing alone nowadays, pretending to b busy with stuff, notes, home, games, internet and some times little of my time out-home roaming, smelling the refreshing air and socializing

and honestly, it doesnt feel bad

Je Suis Personne

To my darlings and dears, who made my life worthwhile

By Baez

Weather has changed; autumn has lost its track and winter’s on the way. Everything changes as it should naturally be.

I had once adored the warmth of summer, I did enjoy the joy and bliss along with daffodils on the meadows, and the color and smell are charming.

Yet as winter approaches, daffodils no longer bloom, leaving me alone in the midst of blizzard. My aura of warmth can no longer keep the grasses and flowers viable, and I realized then that this is the time. I have to move on; out of the sorrowfulness I can no longer stand.

Heart’s become as cold as an ice, as solid as a rock. The phases of metamorphosis are excruciatingly painful yet it’s something I have to endure, something that I have to live with. Winter has won the battle and I lost. It was fair and square and I did not regret my very decision to follow its thorny trail.

I do wonder, when summer pokes its hand through the clouds, would there be a chance for me to reminisce a single day I had once adored. Would the ice melt down and flow with the river? Would the air be fresh and sweet like once before? Would the daffodils welcome me with bright smiles? And most importantly, would I be the same?

I just wonder…

first of all, happy ramazan XD

new semester has arrived, am wishin all irbidian knights a very happy and merry new semester XD

on the other story line im like swirling in the violent dance of the fate twister, am not hurt at all btw (tho initially my heart is like torn apart), protected by ancient friendship charms, i can flash more of my smiles lol, i meant, another year in irbid lol

It’s indeed a bless, and a bliss, and i have yet to figure out what awaits me out there XD

hata kun signin off

note : Irbid will b lyk deserted in a few days time for lyk more than half of the malay population will b travelin home to Malaysia

Some hand in presents and flowers
Some wish bon voyage
Some cry
Some laugh
Some shake hands
Some hug

The latter is wat i intend to do to wish dear frens a safe journey, errr
Actually, what i INTENDED to do but
Fate doesnt agree, so
It puts up a major challenge on that particular day (exam), urm
A challenge i must bypass, btw
I aint a fortune teller, and
i cant foresee what lies ahead, whether
I ll make it to the very end (headin back to malaysia) or
I ll stay for another year (another puasa n raya wif u guys) but
I ll make sure. that
I ll enjoy every moments with you guys, so that
I ll not regret if we are not destined, to
Meet each other, hence
I’d like to wish you all darls and dears, whether
Your are, or
Arent reading this, urm
A very happy and safe journey, as in
Bon Voyage in French, and
Do wish me luck, lol coz
Time will tell,
Whether im destined, err
to serve ppl in malaysia, or
stay for another year LOL, but hey
promise me, yea
pls promise me, that
you guys will take care of yourselves. so that
we can meet again, erm
some times @ sumwhere
l8r

warm hugs,

hatekun@irbid
0009 hrs
aug 18th

i detest :

3) hostility
2) hypocrisy

and

1) jealousy

that’s it

BUfdaY WiSh

reasons for suddenly choosin frenster blog instead of my blogspot

1) i lost my blogspot password (due to amnesia tat has begun affectin my memories adversely)
2) lilybonsai who’s supposed to be the password keeper isnt available rite now(she’s rite now  wanderin alone in her very dream(s) lol)
3) kakmando’s lyk so eksen, he wont be visitin my blogspot under normal circumstances yet may kakmando be notified by the frenster alert system lol

where to begin? urm, i was lyk browsing thru several favorite frenster pages of mine when i suddenly rubbed my eyes in disbelief upon seein awe’s bufday testi on kakmando’s page (owh does tat mean kakmando’s url’s one ma fav? lol) , it’s not that ive forgotten this very special date, it’s just tat ive been a lil bit disoriented lately, dont blame me, blame the classes that shoo me away from entering, i was lyk lost in time and space, dates n days seem alien lol, im not tat good in memorizin stuff esp bufday date, i do depend on technologies to compensate for my flaws, i did hav his kept in my prev mobilephone but lily’s been stolen by a cruel being and that tells the rest of the story..

kakmando, simply put, is a wonderful bro, tho his eksen char sumtimes made me  cried lyk one litre of tears yet that’s superficial. Dont look on superficial aspects (tho i keep judgin kakmando by his skin ie doesnt reply to testi plus the one word answer for a para-long IMs, but that’s mesra) if u wanna discover the true gleam of a gem and deep inside, he’s everything. He may be frank yet that’s the very key in a long lastin frenship, he’s cool (do i hear sumone say macho?) and jumps not on any misplacements, matured (still remnants of his childish acts ocassionally reappear), trustworthy, a wonderful fren, a serene soul and a good son.

He may sumtimes appear as an insensitive being but again, judge a book not by its cover, and frankly, he’s quite sentimental and a bit sensitive (these are of vital importance in pursuin lyf, i mus admit). President of irbid lone ranger club ( in which i  dont quite see the relevance of this thingy), he got jus evrythin (not exaggeratingly said, everythin that a woman seeks in a man LOL).

My intuition was nearly perfect but not on kakmando. My first impression toward him was lyk "owh, this lil fella is lyk so eksen, motif sgt" and when he first visited ma home, i opened my door room generously and palpitated crazily for i wondered if my impression was ever wrong, but when he just went away to fird’s without even bzbodi-ly peerin through ma door opening, i was lyk "owh ok". 2nd time - proved not wrong but as time flew, i was wrong, he was jus takin sum times to familiarize himself wif new surroundings, and when u know him, thing will be turned upside-down. From a eksen passive lil boy, he turned out to be manja, ramah and full of stories  

Two years of knowin kakmando gives me the chance to see the world better ie via different views. Decorated wif majestic colors of joy, kakmando has painted my world beautifully. And i’d lyk to thank you for this very opportunity to get to know u. Thanks for the beautiful frenship and thanks for everything.

Hence on this very special day (it’s not even 12, so it’s counted in) i’d lyk to wish kakmando a very very very merry happy bufday, being older seems to be not so cool to certain ppl (to those who believe in sweet 16, sweet 17 thingy) but i hope tat kakmando’s views on this are different. Being one age older means that u’ve been given another chance to explore this beautiful lyf hence n dun waste this golden opportunity.

May the sun shine through your years and may the stars be watchin over you.

Think of me sumtimes, and i will b ther for u lol.

HAPPY 19th BUFDAY KAKMANDO-KUN

p/s: kakmando-kun shares a very same bufday date with another important person in ma lyf, kakmin aka ma pet sis lol, and kakmin, i’d lyk to wish u a very happy bufday,  thanks for always listening, thanks for the advices thanks for everything these days, may ur sweet smile radiates across the oceans, bringin out warmth to the world. I’m one lucky fella to be destined to meet a very sweet strong-willed person in ma lyf.

p/s 2 : sum ppl may wonder what’s wif the "kak" on mando’s nick? urm let it be lyk a secret between kakmando and us lol.

p/s3 : i dunno how to re-align these stuff sigh

a wonderful bro

a sweet sis

-baez-
2345 (owh dear it’s lyk 15 to 12)
irbid

I walked out of the hospital and had a momentary last look at it as it marked the end of my official learnings ie rounds and lectures. I had the last rotation (General Surgery) OSCE (objective structural/standardized clinical examinations) just now and final exams are just enthusiastically standing around the corner, saying hello and welcome to a month of tortures and torments.

Exams? Well, I don’t expect high marks albeit the rampant course of reading I underwent these last few weeks. Some were easy, some didn’t even cross my mind. Well, the exam was of 2 parts, the slideshows and the osce stations. Let’s review the exam questions and stations :

Slideshows

Slideshow 1 :

a) Chest XRay, name the abnormalities (air under diaphragm) and diagnosis (perforated viscus)

b) A picture of a stoma, what type of stoma is this
c) A slide showing cleft lip and palate, name the diagnosis and when should you repair the cleft lip, and the cleft palate
d) melanoma skin changes, name the diagnosis and treatment
e) xray of the mandible, name the abnormalities and the diagnostic investigation

Slideshow 2 :

A picture showing a testicular tumor :

a) the commonest presenting symptoms
b) the commonest group of age affected by this tumor
c) the level of the tumor marker
d) the earliest site of spreading and how to diagnose it

Slideshow 3 :

1) A chest xray, (aortic dissection)

a) point out the abnormalities
b) give the diagnosis
c) what investigations would u like to do once the patient is stabilized.

2) A picture showing purpura around the eyes (raccoon’s eye)

a) name this finding
b) in which situation do we see this

Slideshow 4 :

A picture showing a 12 year old male with enlarged breast

a) what’s the diagnosis
b) one most important question to be asked
c) investigations
d) treatment

OSCE Stations

1) a patient 55 yr old, coming to you with change in bowel habit

a) take specific presenting history
b) name two differential diagnosis (rectal tumor + diverticulosis)
c) line of investigations to confirm the tumor

2) a patient coming to you with a history of difficulty in swallowing

a) take specific history
b) name three differential diagnosis (achalasia, stricture, carcinoma)
c) name the investigations (esophageal manometry, endoscopy and biopsy)

3) a patient coming to you with abdominal aorta aneurysm, do complete vascular examinations

4) a patient with a history of  anterior resection of colon with liver mets, do specific examination to the head and neck plus the abdomen

That’s it. Lets bygone be bygone, malam ni tolong pindah umah maka sila sediakan cheesecake 

Papa and Mama,
without you guys i wouldnt be born and i wouldnt be what i am today
thanks for everything and happy 29th anniversary
may your lives be filled wif iman and blessings

it’s hard to remember how it feels
watching over a hideous troll and it nearly kills
together we climb a steepy hill
out of the hideout the when the surrounding is still

wondering if we’re cool

i wish upon the stars to shine their lights for you
because after all the places we’ve been to
leaves are green and skies are blue
such fated things are undoubtedly true

arent we cool?

after getting through the cruel obstacles
we’re still good friends and it’s such a miracle
albeit stars of hope will no longer twinkle
the beautifully folded friendship will not wrinkle

in the end i know that we’re cool

faez, irbid
2326 hrs